I cockslap morals
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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