Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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