Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
pop tarts are not kleenex
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
