i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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