1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
