if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
