Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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