im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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