i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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