I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize