Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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