so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
