i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
