I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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