dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
