That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize