It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
