i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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