Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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