No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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