You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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