yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize