I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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