The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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