Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
