I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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