some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
