i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
