My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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