I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
