Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I am mentally ready for anal.
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