see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
