My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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