At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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