whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
