I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
