writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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