its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
