I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
