She's JV to your varsity
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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