So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
