He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
