like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
