1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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