I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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