Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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