in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
