Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i love accidental penises.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
