Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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