yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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