im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
