my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
