Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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