i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
