dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize