i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
