I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
then he tried to convert me to islam
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
