So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
That reminds me...we need to get swords
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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