Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
