Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
