I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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