What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Your cock deserves a montage
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
