So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
