i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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