Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
