saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
