I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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