so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
