I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
