At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
