i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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