a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize