Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i think my cat just said my name.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
