im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize