I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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